


Gives A Whole New Meaning To Cow-Eyes

by whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome



Series: Do What You Love And You'll Never Work A Day In Your Life [2]
Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: Animal Husbandry, Autistic Wayne, First Love, Gen, Love at First Sight, True Love, i tripped and accidentally Backstoried Letterkenny, swears, this is a story about a boy and his cow, way too much thought for a half-hour comedy show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 20:42:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15348318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome/pseuds/whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome
Summary: Darry falls in love for the first time at the county fair when he's nine.





	Gives A Whole New Meaning To Cow-Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, I spilled my Backstory all over everything. Whoops. Thanks and blame to [gosh_zillah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gosh_zillah/pseuds/gosh_zillah), a good niece.
> 
> Séan Pádraig Brendan Connolly (2nd gen., Donegal) b. Letterkenny, ON. to Pádraig William Séaumas Connolly and Caitríona Éilís Bríd Sheehy-Skeffington of Letterkenny, co. Donegal, IRE
> 
> Máire Teresa Ní Mhurchú (1st gen., Derry) b. Derry, co. Derry to Cáitlín Máire Ní Mhurchú, father unknown*.
> 
> "Uncle Eddie” Eadbhárd Mícheál Cathal O'Higgins b. Derry, co. Derry to unknown. Raised in a Good Shepherd Sisters Laundry.
> 
> Uaithne “Wayne” Ó Muirchú Connolly b. Letterkenny, ON. to Sean Pádraig Brendan Connolly and Máire Teresa Ní Mhurchú
> 
> Caitríona "Katy" Teresa Connolly b. Letterkenny, ON. to Sean Pádraig Brendan Connolly and Máire Teresa Ní Mhurchú
> 
> Daryl Thomas Boyd, b. Letterkenny, ON. to Emily Katherine Boyd, father not disclosed.
> 
> *Barry MacBride, killed in Border Campaign, 1956 in Derry.

Darry fell in love for the first time at the county fair when he was nine years old. For context:

When the kids start first grade and begin learning about money, Dad and Ma Connolly decide to give them an allowance. It’s not much, just a couple dollars a week, the point being to teach them about spending and saving, budgeting, and the value of a dollar. Each week, Ma sits them down and doles out their allowances, making them write down the date and how much they ‘deposited’ and what their running totals are on the back of an envelope.

Katy makes purchases only rarely, preferring to save up at least twice what she needs before buying anything. Most of the time though she acts as if she never has any money at all.

Wayne on the other hand usually makes smaller, more frequent purchases; sometimes they’re for Dad or Ma or Mumma, but most of the time they’re for Katy or Darry. He likes to give them things just to make them happy, to see them smile when they find a piece of candy or a toy or some other trinket on a pillow, or in a desk drawer, or on the dash of the truck.

Darry never spends anything at all. Ever. Ma at first thought that he might just be one of nature’s Savers like Katy, but one day while they were all out on a Big Shop in the City, he asks if she’d buy something for him to give to Mumma for Christmas.

‘Do you want to use your allowance?’ she asks. Darry just blinks at her.

‘My what?’

‘Your allowance, dear. You’ve quite a tidy sum packed away there.’

When Darry continues to look confused, Ma gets concerned. ‘The money in the envelopes? You get it every week? I make you write it down?’

A dawning of comprehension. ‘Oh.’ Ma starts to feel better until he pipes up with, ‘I can spend that?’

A few more searching questions reveal that Darry doesn’t know that his allowance is his money.

‘I thought it was for something else.’

‘Like what?’

‘I dunno. Just… the future I guess. I thought you were holding on to it for later.’

Ma thought she’d been pretty clear when she’d explained about their allowances. She tries breaking it down into smaller parts, but it’s difficult to put the ideas together into a shape that fits the advanced Tetris level that is Daryl’s conception of the world and how it works. Apparently, he thought that money was something people got for working, but chorin’ around the farm didn’t count ‘cos that was home, and work was not-at-home.

Eventually, he gets the idea enough so that Ma worries a little less about him.[*] He still never spends anything though, deciding instead to make gifts for people, or do without. 

Fast forward a couple of years to the summer when Katy turned eight and Darry and Wayne turned nine. They’re all out at the county fair, having a good time. The kids run around hollerin’, playing games, winning tickets, eating too much junk food. The adults take their time ambling around looking at the craft booths, minding the kids, and carrying the prizes they won. They split up and take turns on rides, Ma usually sitting out of the fast ones on account of her tummy being delicate.

The evening creeps on and the kids are getting fractious, so they start migrating back to the truck through the produce and livestock stands. Dad is carrying Katy and the huge teddy bear that Darry had won at the shooting gallery and given her. Mumma has Wayne by the hand and is trying like hell to keep him from running off after every other booth. Darry is sticking close to Ma as she’s wandering around the wool and yarn booth.

He’s so quiet she didn’t even realise he’d snuck off until he practically tackled her, wrapping his arms around her waist and talking at a mile a minute. Ma wasn’t what anyone would call a big woman, but even at a freshly minted nine, both boys were already too tall for her to tuck their heads under her chin anymore without them having to bend down to allow it.

‘PleasecanIhavemy’llowanceIfoundsomethinIwannabuypleasepleasepleasepleaseIpromiseI’lltakecareofhershe’ssoprettypleasepleasepleasepleaseplease…’

The child hasn’t drawn a breath the entire time. ‘Darry, please! You’re turning purple. Slow down and ask me again.’

‘Please, can I have my allowance? I found something I wanna buy and I wanna know if I have enough.’

‘Well, I don’t have it on me at the moment. What is it you’re after getting?’

He just grabs her hand and drags her over an aisle and up three stalls to the most pure-white calf she had ever seen in her life, barely three months old if she’s any judge. Darry wiggles his top half through the pipe stall and clicks his tongue and the calf runs over to start licking his face.

‘This is what you want to buy with your allowance?’

Darry giggles as the calf uses her tongue to explore his ear. ‘She really likes me. Please, Ma, can I, pleeeeeeeease, please, pleasepleaseplease…’

‘Hold it!’ Ma raises one hand. ‘Is she even for sale? Who’s stall is this?’

Darry extracts himself from the calf’s affections and runs off around the corner, returning with a middle-aged man who presumably owns the calf.

‘Ah, he said he found his Ma. Is he serious?’ the man gestures at Darry once again embracing the little heifer.

‘Apparently.’ Ma introduces herself. ‘This is the most excited I’ve ever seen him get. Is she for sale?’

‘Call me Jim, please.’ Call-me-Jim starts telling her about all the prizes his calf was winning. Ma holds him off for a moment and tells Darry, ‘Go find Dad and Mumma, please,’ before turning back to Jim.

‘What’s her dam like? Good output? How many litres?’ They talk for awhile about the calf’s background while waiting for the rest of the crew to show up.

Ma asks, ‘So are either of her parents all-white like this or…’ just as Darry comes back with Mumma and Dad and the other kids in tow.

‘You brought us all the way over here for this,’ Wayne spits, as Darry once more climbs through the rail and into the paddock.

Katy immediately fires back, ‘Shut up, she’s cute,’ and swipes at Wayne’s shoulder with the toe of her shoe.

He slaps it aside, grumbling, ‘You shut up, what tellin’ me to shut up, I’ll tell you where t’go.’

‘No, she’s a fluke that way. Pure coincidence. Both her parents is purebred Holstein. I’m only showing her ‘cos of the novelty.’

‘Can we go in?’ Dad asks Jim. He opens the paddock and they all pile in, Darry making a beeline for the calf. Dad hands Katy off to Mumma and Wayne holds the giant bear over vociferous protests. Ma requests and gets the animal’s health records while Dad runs his hands down her sides and checks her eyes, ears, mouth, and back end.

Ma contemplates the papers before her, drawing out the hush that had fallen over the group. She looks at Mumma, who only shakes her head and says, ‘Literally, not my cow, not my farm.’

Dad just says, ‘She’s a well put-together little beastie, but it’s up to you.’

‘She’s a beautiful cow,’ Ma says, thoughtful.

‘She’s a real beautiful cow,’ Mumma agrees.

‘Oh, she’s a gorgeous cow,’ Dad adds.

Ma watches Darry scratching the calf under her chin. He notices Ma looking at him so he slings an arm over the heifer’s neck and gives Ma the big eyes. Fuck, she’s done for. Ma turns to Jim.

‘How much?’

‘$450, including transport.’

‘She’s a little underweight for that kind of money. $200 and we take her home ourselves.’

‘With the ribbons she’s took, she’s worth a lot more than a dollar a pound. How about $400, and I’ll still include delivery.’

‘You said it yourself, you’re only showing her for the novelty. $250, we’ll take her home tonight, save you the trouble.’

They dicker back and forth until they meet in the middle at $315, which pert near cleans Darry out, but he’s the happiest boy at the fair, and his new sweetie is so worth it.

Wayne huffs and rolls his eyes as Darry coos at the heifer like a baby and Katy smiles sleepily at them. Ma takes Darry with her and makes him sign all the paperwork, initialling next to everywhere he makes his mark.

‘I have to sign all this?’

‘She’s your cow, sweetheart. You’re using your own money.’

Giggle. ‘Cooooooooooool.’

The calf already has a paper name, but Darry wants to change it. ‘Can I do that?’

‘Sure, son,’ says Jim. ‘What do you wanna name her?’

Darry smiles his little lightning-struck grin and says, ‘I’m gonna call her Moonbeam.’

That is just too much for Wayne to handle. ‘Darry!’ he stomps, furious. ‘You’re softer than the contents of a baby’s diaper!’

Dad takes his arm off Mumma’s shoulders and casually claps Wayne up the back o’th’ head where he’s standing on the other side of her. ‘That was uncalled for, son. Apologise.’ Katy just chuckles with mild Schadenfreude.

Wayne mumbles his apology to his feet, but that’s good enough for Darry.

‘Apology accepted, Wayne.’ He smiles again. ‘Hey, wanna pet her?’

Wayne looks at Ma, aggrieved to the depths of his soul. She raises an eyebrow back at him, letting him choose.

‘Yeah, okay, I guess, if you want,’ he grumbles. Darry’s affection for the beast must be contagious though, because Wayne is smiling at her within a minute, looking all soft when he thinks no one can see him.

At home, Dad walks Darry through the dairy barn and they pick out a cow to pair Moonbeam with. Dad explains how Moonie (Wayne rolls his eyes so hard they almost roll out of his head,) needs to be around other cows so she can learn how to be a cow herself. He shows Darry how to keep track of Moonbeam’s stall, her food and water, how much hay and shavings she gets through.

‘So we can make sure she’s getting enough of the things she needs to stay healthy and happy, and so we can keep track of how much she’s using and how much it costs. Then when she’s old enough, she’ll have a calf of her own and we’ll milk her too.’

Darry starts working with the cows every morning, mucking out the stalls and learning how to use the milking machine and keeping track of all the cows.

Moonie packs the weight on from the moment they get her home and by the time she’s ready for her first calf, she’s the most beautiful cow in the whole town. Darry visits her all the time, talks to her like a person, tells her everything, makes flower crowns for her out of daisies and, appropriately enough, cowslips.

Ma sits him down in front of the computer and has him help pick out bulls for the AI. They’re scrolling through the list of studs when Darry sees it. A big, pure white bull, the perfect complement for his Moonbeam.

‘Noooooooo waaaaaaaaayyyy…’ he breathes.

Ma can’t quite believe it either. She reads every word of the description three times looking for the catch, but there’s nothing. She calls the number on the advert to talk to the owner personally, and by all accounts, it’s a perfectly legitimate coincidence. No relation at all. He’s a proven producer though, so they go ahead and buy several straws for Moonie.

Her first calving has Darry practically vibrating out of his skin with nerves. Twins on her first time are lucky, supposedly, but it has risks. Dad and the vet are both there, and even though Darry has to reach all the way up Moonie’s backside to pull the second calf out after she gets too tired, everything goes really well. Darry pulls the caul away from their little white faces and towels them both off. Moonie lays down as soon as it’s done, exhausted but fine. Even though it was hard, frightening work, Darry never wants to do anything else.

Over the years, Moonbeam produces some of the best calves the farm’s ever had, including a couple of all-white ones like her. Darry is very protective of her, watching her every step of the way. The first year she doesn’t catch a calf, Darry figures there’s always next time. The year after she does, but something makes Darry uneasy, so he calls the vet for an ultrasound. There’s a messy, complicated night with tools and a worrying amount of blood, and he wraps the stillborn calf in an old sheet and takes it away and buries it before Moonie sees. After that, there are no more calves for Moonie.

Other cows come and go, but Moonbeam is always there, even though she’s no longer a milker. She enjoys her life in the pasture, watching over her herd and their calves, still running over when she sees Darry to lick his face. Most dairy cows, even the ones kept as pets, don’t live as long as Moonie, but most dairy cows aren’t Darry’s first love.

**Author's Note:**

> * Not that she would ever _not_ worry about him to some degree. Darry wasn’t _stupid_ , but he was Simple, and some folks thought that was the same thing.[return to text]
> 
> I need you all to know that in my research for this, I found out that the oldest cow in the world was named [Big Bertha](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Bertha_\(cow\)) and she lived to be 48 years old.
> 
> Darry and Moonbeam have a long and happy life together, the end.


End file.
